An Akatsuki Slumber Party
by CompletelyEclipsed
Summary: What happens when the akatsuki members are forced against their will to a slumber party? Crack fic. Seriously, you want to read this.


**AN: A hilarious episode about what happens when you force akatsuki members against their will to a slumber party!  
A bit of ooc-ness. but there wouldn't be a slumber party if there wasn't!  
There's one OC, Aki but she's just another akatsuki member.  
believe me, this is hilarious. You want to read....and review? :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. -insert funny saying about what would happen if I did here-**

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"Hey, pass me that Pepsi, and dammit Itachi, you get your ass over here and play!"

Aki made an annoyed "tsk" ing expression as she waved Itachi over with one hand, popping open her soda with the other.

Itachi made a face and made his way over to Kisame, as far away from Aki as he could manage without being bitched at. And it was not just Itachi who was slightly annoyed, the whole damn Akatsuki was dragged into this slumber party. Most of them by now had either girlish make-up on, strange clothing worn, or had done things that they may never live down.

But it wasn't as if they didn't need it, Aki thought. Killing people all over and capturing demons, they needed some fun!

Deidara almost bounced with excitement next to Aki. Grabbing a slice of pizza, the blonde talked rapidly, his voice muffled by talking with his mouth full.

"Truth or Dare, un! I've never even played before, un! And real food! UN!"

Everyone seemed to sigh at Deidara's over enthusiasm.

Shut your mouth brat, before you get too excited and blow everything up." Sasori stated with an uncaring tone.

"Here, here." mumbled Kisame, grabbing a slice of pizza as well.

"Oh come ON Sasori-san, Kisame-san. Lighten UP." Aki took a drink of her Pepsi and smiled widely, wiping her mouth with her wrist.

More sighs were heard under the giving in of akatsuki members.

Deidara laid back, leaning on his mouthed hands. "I'll go first, un!"

Aki sat Indian Style, putting her elbows on her knees. "See, you guys need to get in to this." She made her point with large hand gestures, smiling mockingly.

Zetsu narrowed his eyes...or, seemed to. Aki couldn't really tell. "Well maybe if we weren't forced against our will....Yes...Forced."

"And maybe if pizza and Pepsi and other uselessness didn't cost so much valuable money." Kakazu sneered.

"Oh, suck it up, un!" Deidara started happily. "Now...un....Danna! Truth or dare, un?!"

Deidara sat forward, mischief in his eyes...or, eye.

Sasori sighed and cracked his wooden neck, mumbling something about a brat.

"...Truth..." Sasori seemed to know a hell a lot better than to pick dare if that brat was doing the bidding.

Deidara pouted and stuck his tongue- the one on his hand- out at his danna. "Uhg, un. You're no fun, un-

"You damn well better put that tongue away before I massacre you so badly I won't be able to use you for my collection." Sasori stated with agitation. Deidara usually didn't get to him like this, but being forced against his will to a SLUMBER PARTY was sending his a bit over the edge.

"Aww, Sasori's got a crush." Kisame teased with a wicked grin. Sasori shot him a death glare.

"Tch. If you want to keep your head, Kisame...I suggest shutting your mouth." Itachi added.

"Okay, okay, un! Anyways. Danna, do you like me un?!" Deidara bounced excitedly.

"Heereee we mother fucking go." Sighed Hidan.

"...What?" Sasori replied Icily. He sighed and simply did not reply. No point in answering an already answered question. Though...there were some times...

"Oh come ON, un!" Deidara said protestingly. " We were made for each other, un! Even our hair is the very colors that were made for each other...like...mustard and ketchup! Or...a bloodstained school bus! Or...a red bird flying over the setting sun, un!"

Sasori gave Deidara such a blank, uninterested look that Deidara doubled over laughing so hard, Aki muffling her own laughter. The other members weren't as amused, either.

Sasori mumbled something about working on his puppets rather than being in this hell.

Aki mumbled an elegant 'shut the fuck up' to everyone before continuing.

"Sasori, you're turn."

Sasori closed his eyes. This was ridiculous. "...Itachi..."

"Dare." He replied smoothly, a bit of curiosity to the tone.

"KILL DEIDARA." Sasori commanded, more agitation to his voice.

Everyone laughed at this. Except of course, Deidara who was inching away towards Aki.

"Well...A job must be done...About time..." Itachi cracked his knuckles, standing up.

"I was meaning to use this mangekyo a bit more..."

Deidara leaped into Sasori's lap, clinging to him tightly. "Un! Take it back un!" Deidara pleaded.

Sasori twitched and tried to pull his partner off of him. "Brat! Unattach yourself from me before I kill you myself!"

"Un! UUUUUNN!" Deidara whined, still clinging.

"...He's going to die." Aki stated with a blank face.

"Once again, here here." Kisame also stated with a blank face.

"Yes...die.." Zetsu said to himself then walked away.

Everyone Except the two fighting artists stared after him.

"You'd think that you'd get used to that by now, but no..." Aki said with an arched eyebrow.

"Nope." Kakazu sighed. "...Maybe I can get my money back for that slice of pizza..." Kakazu started.

"Kakazu! That pizza is half eaten! And It was Zetsu's! My god, you don't give up." Aki stated, shaking her head.

" I don't think that's safe..." Itachi started.

Everyone looked over at Sasori and Deidara who were fighting away in a comical cloud of dust.

"Oh well. They'll end their mother fucking differences. Let's just play the goddamn game." Hidan barked.

Itachi scowled. "I never got to do my dare...and it seemed so...fun." He gave a mischievous look.

"What would be fun, Itachi-kun, would be you explaining to leader-sama about why Deidara is dead..." Kisame teased with a grin.

Itachi looked down with a hint of trouble in his face. No doubt thinking about ways to kill Deidara and get away with it. He sighed and looked back up with his onyx eyes.

"Hn...Aki."

Aki raised her eyebrows while taking a sip of her soda. Damn thing was running out.

She drank the rest and threw the empty can behind her, sighing. "Umm...Truth, I guess. I'm not ready for utter humiliation or killing anyone, yet."

Itachi scoffed lightly. Yet. " You're the one that's making us play this game, and you're not even going to take on a dare? What happened to 'getting into this'?"

Aki made a reluctant face, knowing he did have a point. Damn Uchiha's. With their damn mind games.

"Eh, whatever. Dare, then...WOA, um..wow...woa, what?" Aki stopped when she looked over at Sasori and Deidara. They had gotten quiet and that was never a good thing. It was a bit questionable that Sasori was sitting on Deidara's unconcious body as he opened a vial of poison.

Sasori looked over at Aki like a kid being caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Aki raised an eyebrow with a dull expression at the shaggy red head. " Sasori, stop trying to kill Deidara again."

Sasori haunched his wooden shoulders and glared at the wall. Since when did he take orders from 15 year old girls? " I wasn't going to kill him...Just...preserve him...in a beautiful wooden form...and-"

"Sasori get over here and play. Deidara...whatever. He'll come around, hopefully."

Aki rolled her eyes and stood up, walking over to the fridge in the next room. Did she really drink all the pepsi's? Damn. "I picked dare Itachi!" She called over her shoulder, holding onto the fridge's handle as she leaned back to see him. She put on a serious, mocking face. "Do your worst. And Sasori, I said stop! And where the hell did Kakazu go? Is that pizza slice gone, too? What the hell." She settled for some water and walked back into the room, sitting on the couch where Sasori sat. Thankfully away from Deidara. Damn Artists.

"Aki. I dare you to go change deidara's bombing clay with blue playdough." Itachi challenged with a grin.

Aki looked over at Deidara's unconcious body. "...That it? Well. I am an agent of choas. Where the hell am I supposed to get-"

Itachi held up a bag of blue playdough.

"...How long have you had that?...I' not even going to ask why... "

xxx xxx

-two hours later-

Aki snored loudly in her sleep. She fell asleep on the couch as they watched some terror/thriller movie. It was already 4am. How much shit could she take?

Truth or dare had been a success. If you call people being knocked out, bombing clay blowing up when trying to change it to playdough, and later some strange confessions successful. They soon after decided they should give up to a movie.

Kisame and Itachi were both asleep on the floor cuddling. Sure, they were asleep and didn't know it. Sure Aki wouldn't black mail them when she woke up for a drink.

Sasori was asleep leaned against the couch and Deidara...hopefully he'd get out of his unconcious state. Who knows what happened to Zetsu. And who knows if Kakazu got that refund. Hidan dissapeared aswell.

The television light flcikered in the darkness on mute. The whole scene might've been cute if they weren't a bunch of criminals.

All was quiet. Yeah right.

BOOM! The door swung open, startling everyone sleeping. Aki sat up, looking around her sleepily.

"What?..whaa..." She looked towards the door to see Pein, fuming when he found out his akatsuki members were having a - may he say it- slumber party.

"AKI, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, A SLUMBER PARTY?! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT-"

...crap.

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**and there you have it folks xD R&R and be loved forever.**


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